DON'T BITE ME

Years ago, when I told some soon-to-be co-workers at the Maybelline Cosmetics facility in North Little Rock, the location of the home I had just put down a bid & deposit on, pending my transfer to Arkansas, the united response seemed to include a warning about the amount & SIZE of the mosquito's in the area of my new home.

Dang. They were right !!

The first mosquito's start showing up in early Spring. Just a few. Enough to let a person know the blood suckers are in the area & the mosquito's know the humans are as well.

As it gets warmer, the mosquito's get bigger & more daring. This will go on until early Fall, when the cold weather starts to slow them down a bit.

I've had more than my share of battles with these bugs. The mosquito's are a constant threat, both when in the yard, or at times -- many times -- in the house. The mosquito's seem to take an open door -- held ajar too long while one or more cats try to decide just what that smell is on the top doorstep, before coming in -- as their personal invitation to enter the house. Let the biting & battles begin.

NOTE: While the cats will chase a fly around the room to the point I have to get up from watching TV & get the fly swatter to end all the commotion, a mosquito seems to be too small for them & never hits the cats radar. It's me, going alone, against the winged warriors. It's one time I would like the cat's help.

Now with all the problems, buzzing & biting caused by mosquito's, the insect creature which causes me the biggest irritation, is the Deer Fly. [That's Chrysops Relictus ... for anyone needing the scientific name.]

This is a small fly, which ALWAYS seems to know when I go outside ... night or day. It doesn't matter if it is in the side yard, back lot or going for my A.M. walk. One or more of these bitters will come buzzing around me. If that's not bad enough, it's almost impossible to feel them land on a body part -- they love my face & neck -- BEFORE the bite occurs. Of course, my response is to slap at the fly ... HITTING MYSELF. I'm getting black & blue thanks to flies !!

Actually, once a Deer Fly lands, it seems to lose the rapid deployment of, say, a common House Fly. [Look that name up yourself.] If I'm slapping correctly at the biting fly, it's often easy to smack those suckers into oblivion.

Now after almost 14 years of fly slapping, I've become a pro at recognizing a Deer Fly landing on me -- before it bites -- & grabbing that varmint ALIVE. Or ... only "Mostly Dead". [Princes Bride movie reference noted.] I get a vicarious thrill knowing I've made the grab & that dude is now squirming in my paws.

SQUEAMISH READERS ... SKIP THE NEXT PART.

With my captured Deer Fly, if I have it still alive in my hand, I extract the ultimate, cruel revenge -- I let it go ... AFTER I have pulled off one of it's wings. "Take that sucker. See how long you live WALKING" [Not for long I'm sure. The fly is NOT going to re-grow the missing wing.] It makes me feel like a god ... but, with a small "g".

I guess the word never gets passed on to other Deer Fly's NOT to mess with me & try & bite me. More keep coming buzzing around, sometimes as I am extracting wings from prior bitters.

They have to learn the hard lesson -- DON'T BITE ME !!!